Joshua (dragonguyver) wrote in spadortch,

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let's go, tons o fun!

I will never be as funny as Kevin Smith. Never ever. Not in a billion fucking years. Because if you put him in front of a few thousand college students you will get three solid hours of gut-busting cocksmoker jokes. And, I mean, who would I be kidding?

And I mean this seriously.

The review at hand: the "An Evening with Kevin Smith" DVD.

This man is so goddamned funny that he makes the menu screen hilarious. Seriously, go rent this DVD - or, shit, buy it - and just watch the damn menu screen for a few minutes. God damn.

What this DVD is: yeah, Kevin Smith did some Q&A's at five colleges and recorded it. The tapes were edited. Result: three + hours of FUNNY that goes on and on and on. I mean, seriously, I had to pause the damn thing a few times because he just kept making something worse and worse. Damn.

Recorded at Cornell, Indiana, Kent State, Wyoming, and Clark, it starts with Kevin Smith walking on stage at Cornell where something like a few thousand college coeds cheer and jubilate and howl for him. And then they won't hardly stop. Here, Smith is a god, and these are his adoring masses. Hell yes. And not a jackhole god either. He's like, oh stop. I made Mallrats, come on. Of course, referencing Mallrats to this bunch only generates more adulation.

Basically the college students ask Kevin questions, and he answers them. Ranging from "can I suck your cock for five bucks?" to "dance, fat man!" we get the goods! But, seriously, we get to hear Kevin talk about how he met Jason, and the evolution of neh to snoogins, how he met Mosier and how producing Chasing Amy for 250 grand almost made the man kill himself. We find out that Kevin first made love to his future wife while sporting a horrible open cock wound caused by her dry humping him against his zipper. Funny stuff, people!

Something to note, this thing is two discs long. And all it has besides the core material is one audio track, three subtitle options, and a very basic menu. Oh, and on disc two there are trailors for Dogma, Mr. Deeds, Spider-Man, and Stan Lee's Mutants Monsters and Marvels. Yeah, the feature is over three hours long.

Some of my favorite parts were how Kevin decries Dogma of any possible dangerousness by the simple fact that it has a goddamn rubber poop monster. He also is asked to justify the "message" in Chasing Amy by a lesbian, which comes out a little bit strained, as if he were trying to censor himself a little to not start anything. I never hear him say what I always thought Chasing Amy's message was. Love is non-gender, deal with it. And, aside from that, there's something about the male-female dynamic. It's really two different worlds, and I think that there's something to that.

But that doesn't mean that it's the law of god or nature to be heterosexual, or that it's genetically hardwired and gays are freaks. That's crap. Who cares. Just choose and be. Whatever.

*finds himself on the soapbox* fuckin thing. *steps off, gets back at his review-writing keyboard.*

Kevin's tales about the producer for the defunct Superman Reborn movie and the Prince documentary he shot that shall never be seen are hilarious. He paints pictures of these ridiculous people who just don't seem to live on earth. And, yes, you will find out what that fuckin giant spider robot in Wild Wild West was about.

Anyway, low points for me in this were times like when five students were locked outside and the film goes through something like a fifteen minute "what? who are you? who's Tim? oh can they come in? does anyone have tickets? Okay , come in. Come on stage. Ha ha, now dance for us, monkeys!" and it gets boring.

A few of his stories seem to run long, and it takes him a while to get to the funny; but, if you're a Kevin Smith fan, you won't mind, because you're hearing all sorts of good stuff, the details you never had a clue on. If you aren't, why are you watching this, anyway?

More things to look forward to: the story behind the pot he was holding on the front cover of High Times. The genious of Jason Mewes. Why Kevin's cinematic style is no style. And much more! I mean, fuck, it's over three hours long!

Special guest appearance by Jason Mewes and phone calls to Scott Mosier and some unfortunates including one student's dad and another student's boss change things up a bit.

So if you like Kevin Smith, and not just casually, you really gotta see this. If you're like me and some of my friends who make obscure references to jokes that aren't in the movies but are in the movies's commentaries, then I have to ask why you haven't seen it already.

running time is 194 minutes.
released on december 17th, 2002.
MPAA: NR unrated.

Final Score: 95.
Yeah. It's that good.
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